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Hunger Games Reviews

Hunger Games 2: Hungry for More manages to stay true to the socialist values the franchise is built on while still achieving director Francis Lawrence’s vision of a Japanese-soap-opera-inspired romance comedy. 0/10, who would want this

Hunger Games 3: Dinner Time Bitches is the latest film from hit female author, Sylvester Stallone, to grace blockbuster video stores, nation wide. This time around, director Francis Lawrence has ditched the ‘silent film’ approach, in order to benefit from the use of audio. When asked about the change, Lawrence claimed he “didn’t know it was possible” and that “the future is a terrifying place”. 10/10

Hunger Games 4: Butter off Dead is the musical adaption of the novel ‘Horrid Henry: Butter Now Then Never’. Having had a passion for dairy-related puns since he was a child, Francis Lawrence decided to adapt this novel instead of the fourth installment in the actual Hunger Games series, which Lionsgate studios had already bought the rights to. Lawrence assured Liongate that the change would ensure a box office gross “large enough to buy fifty yogurts”. Upon closer inspection, this is not a lot of money. 5/10, the return of silent film making did not aid this musical, and was probably a misstep.

Hunger Games 5: Quantum of Salsa is the cinematic adaption of the 4th Hunger Games novel. Lionsgate studios has chosen a different director this time around, as Francis Lawrence has left film making to open a dairy farm. 10/10, best dairy farm I’ve ever been to. 

List of movie’s I’d like to see, that you can also see.

Disclaimer: I don’t know if these movies are good, I have not seen them, but I’m fairly sure they aren’t terrible.

  • Punch Drunk Love: Apparently, it’s a movie starring Adam Sandler that isn’t terrible. Sandler plays a shy, damaged nobody who runs off with a woman and learns about who he is along the way. Involves purchases of “Stunning amounts of pudding”. IMDBhttp://www.imdb.com/title/tt0272338/?ref_=fn_al_tt_4 
  • Boogie Nights: Mark Wahlberg plays an up and coming porn star in the 70’s/ 80’s. The movie follows his adventures in the Californian pornography industry. I’m not to sure about this one, but it’s well received and the cast is great (also starring Burt Reynolds, Julianne Moore and John C. Reilly) IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0118749/?ref_=sr_1
  • The Fountain: One of those movies where if you can follow what’s happening you’ll  be blown away and if not, too bad (See; Inception, Cloud Atlas). Starring Hugh Jackman in three separate story-lines that intertwine, including one where he’s looking for the cure for cancer and another where he’s in a book.  IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0414993/?ref_=sr_1
  • Robot & Frank: Set in the near future, Frank, an ex-jewel thief is given a robot butler by his son, to look after him in his old age, but Frank returns to his old ways. I’ve always liked it when indie movies, try something with a bit sci-fi, their limitations mean they have to relay on story rather than effects (See; Safety Not Guaranteed).  IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1990314/
  • Cash Back: A bad break up causes a young man to develop insomnia, which he takes advantage of by working late at the local supermarket, where he lets his creativity run wild and soon discovers he can somehow stop time.  IMBD: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0460740/
  • Tucker and Dale vs. Evil: I’m very cautious when it comes to comedies, but I love the premise of this one. A group of college students go camping for the weekend and, through a series of unlucky events, begin thinking that the harmless Tucker & Dale are trying to kill them. Tucker and Dale in turn think the kids are carrying out a group suicide pact. Starring Alan Tudyk (yay).  IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1465522/?ref_=sr_1
  • Spirited Away: I’m getting tired of typing, so here how IMBD described the movie: “In the middle of her family’s move to the suburbs, a sullen 10-year-old girl wanders into a world ruled by gods, witches, and monsters; where humans are changed into animals; and a bathhouse for these creatures.” Sounds like they were making a Japanese adaption of ‘Home Alone’ and just rolled with it. IMBD: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0245429/?ref_=sr_1
NEW 52 Comic Suggestions (for Aaron)

  • Batman: If you like Batman, it’s a pretty safe bet you’ll like this. It’s got all the stuff that makes Batman great, with a specific focus on the significance of Gotham City to the Batman mythos. It also does a great job of showing Bruce Wayne’s intellect, as he talks to himself more than anyone else.
  • Aquaman: Probably the best example of success in the New 52, in the first few issues they manage the resolve most of the problems people have with this character and make this one of the best selling books in the the New 52. When that happens with an Aquaman book, you know they’re doing something right.

  • Green Lantern: This is a quality book that quickly introduces you to the huge sci-fi universe of Green Lantern and then jumps right into a big story arch. At times it may be confusing due to the intertwining story lines with the many other Green Lantern comics, but it doesn’t make the overall experience any less enjoyable.
  • Wonder Woman: With a villains gallery containing foes such as ‘Egg Fu’ the giant alien egg who’s also an Asian stereotype and ‘Angle Man’ (that’s right, a maths themed villain) it was probably a good move to have the New 52 Wonder Woman title focus on her fighting Greek gods instead of super villains. This one doesn’t get as much praise as others, but if your into mythology and want something a little more mature, this is a great read.

  • The Flash: Even though people have never really had a problem with The Flash, this book does a good job at making him seem more legit by showing that he can do more than just run really fast. Ironically, it’s has a slow start, but becomes one of the better books in the New 52.
  • Justice League: Seeing as it’s written by Geoff Johns, the Creative Head of DC Comic and the guy behind the current Aquaman and Green Lantern titles, this book is obviously very popular and well liked. Personally though, I found the first few issues to read like a fan fiction, with a lack of character interaction and development. However, seeing as it does pick up a lot and it’s sort of the center of the DC Universe, it’s kind of a must have.

  • Justice League of America: Due the possible threat to humanity posed by a Justice League that is not affiliated with the government, the government controlled Justice League of America was formed from a selection of the world’s most dangerous heroes and Catwoman. Seeing as this book is also written by Geoff Johns, it really comes down to if you like Justice League, because if you do, you’ll probably like this.

Other good books that I don’t read:

  • Batman and Robin
  • Animal Man
  • Justice League Dark
  • Constantine
  • Green Arrow (?)

Bad books that can just go die

  • Catwoman
  • Red Hood and Outlaw (Simply because of Starfire)
  • Superman
  • Teen Titans (?)
  • Deathstroke

Review: Frank Pig Says Hello

I was recently invited to a play starring a friend of mine, titled ‘Frank Pig Says Hello’, an adaption of the Irish play ‘Butcher Boy’. Like all plays, it was written by Bill Shakespeare, and is not of interest to anyone. However, this ‘Butcher Boy’ promised something different. It promised suspense, drama and most importantly, murderous rampage involving a child with a pig face. I can say with a heavy heart, it does not deliver. At no point does the Butcher Boy, or his alter ego, Frank Pig, attempt to wear the face of a pig, which is the only thing the poster alludes to. 

You see this? Would this not have you assume you were in for a night of horror and action? Where’s my pig face god damn you?!?!

But I guess we must take ‘Frank Pig Says Hello’ at face value, as it’s pig face value is considerably low. The play itself, was actually quite thrilling. What one would at first have thought was set in rural Ireland in a bygone time, turns out to be set in a dystopian future. The protagonist, Frank, has not seen the orange sky of a sunset since his childhood, meaning that the sun has either died out or been taken as part of a communist plot (a communist uprising is alluded to throughout the play). But hey, its not all bad, invisible hover bike technology appears to have been commercialized and Frank’s father plays the trumpet, making him the first black man in the west of Ireland. The strangest sci fi aspect of the play is probably the unexplained wall of people that follows our hero Frank where ever he goes. Anyone who is not a part of the main scene is cryogenically sealed to the wall, for reasons unknown to the viewers.

Few conventions appear to have survived the apocalypse that led to the creation of this new civilization. Acts of theft and baking run amok and a general hatred of flies and members of the Christian Brothers College has prevailed. The economy has been left in ruins, so many people have turned to implementing private taxes and juggling multiple jobs, even doctors must double as butchers to stay afloat. 

 All in all, I had no idea what was happening. There was this older guy sitting in the back that kind of ruined it for me. Just because he got a good seat, he thought he could talk over the whole damn play.

It may not be Shawshank Redemption, but I’ve been told in the past that comparing things to that movie, regardless of standard or medium, is actually not the best rating system. In short, I give it a 10/10, it’s exciting, awe-inspiring  and very moving- I’m talking about Shawshank, by the way- it just can’t be beat. As for the play, it was alright, a 10 too, I guess, I don’t really get theater.  

Doctor Who Series Finale Leaked Script

Doctor Who is walking through the streets of modern day London, when suddenly a planet explodes in outer space.

Dr. Who: Oh no.

Doctor Who is truly distraught, so he calls upon his sidekicks, Amy Adams and Dog Robot. The three run into what the witless public think is a normal telephone box, but Doctor Who and his crew know it is a Tardisphone box, a machine capable of travelling through time, space and the world. They travel three hours into the past on the surface of Saturn.

Amy: We have to find out who-

Dr. Who: Yes?

Amy: Uh? Oh right, that’s your name. That is truly inconvenient.

Dog Robot: Exterminate!

Dr. Who: Right you are, my metal mutt.

The Who Crew look around for the person who is planning on blowing up the planet, and surely enough they find Doctor Who’s oldest enemy.

Dr. Who: Oh no.

It was Dr. When! A man so evil he could potentially explode a planet!

Dr. When: We meet again, Dr. Who, my old student.

It was true, Doctor Who had once taken a class taught by Doctor When while studying at the University of Space. And Time.

Amy: You must be the one who-

Dr. Who: Yes?

Amy: YOU MUST BE THE PERSON IN QUESTION, THAT WE ARE LOOKING FOR.

Dr. When: Alas, it is not I who shall explode this pathetic rock, it is them.

A legion of robot snowmen appear on the horizon.

Snowmen: HAHA! Doctors, today is your last day that you are alive!

Doctors Who & When: Oh no.

Amy: How did they know we were here?

Dog Robot: T’was I my sweet, and now you will burn.

The planet explodes. Meanwhile in modern day London, Doctor Who sees the planet explode and calls upon his sidekicks to stop this event from occurring. The End.